I feel like so many people (admittedly, including myself) throw around the word happiness like it’s this one universal, physical thing that some people have a grip on and some people don’t. But this isn’t the case at all.
Happiness means something different for everyone, which is why I think all the blog posts titled “The key to being happy” or “guaranteed ways to be happy” are total bullshit.
Different things make different people happy. I have one friend who is in their complete personal heaven when he is fixing cars. For me, I could name about 1,000,000 things I’d rather do than fix a car. I love cleaning and planing, but I know so many people who would rather shove needles in their eyes than clean. Does that mean that either of these things are the “proper” definition of happiness? NO!!! If something makes you happy and not someone else, so what! As long as you’re not hurting anyone else, you’re good! You do you!
For me personally, it took me an embarrassing amount of time to figure out what makes me happy. And to be honest, I think it was due to the fact that I never knew that as we grow and change, so do the things that make us happy. So I would look back and do things that made me happy 2 years ago and get absolutely no happiness from them and think that I was doing something wrong. I didn’t realize that as I change, so do my interests. Nobody stays the same forever. We are constantly growing and changing every single day. Just because you have different interests and hobbies now than you did 2 years ago doesn’t make you a bad or different person, it just means you’re doing something right!
Even if you think you know what makes you happy, I think it is important for everyone to read this post and try to find more things that make you happy. Because is it really possible to be too happy? (Probably. We’ll address that some day in the near future)
I think the one key thing to finding what makes you happy is reflection.
One thing I did for a while is reflect on what makes me happy. If I’m just going about living my life and feel a sudden burst of serotonin, I would pause. What is making me happy right now? Then I would write it in my notes and BAM! I now know what makes me happy.
I know it seems so dumb to think about the things that make you happy, but if you’re the kind of person who over thinks everything like me, oversimplifying things is so helpful.
Once you have a list of 10-ish things, look back at it and ask yourself “WHY do these things make me happy?” This will allow you to delve deep into your own thoughts and find what truly makes you happy.
Now that you know what makes you happy, do more of it! There’s no point in all of this reflection and recognition if you don’t do anything about it.
One thing that really, really annoys me is when people just say “stop doing things that don’t make you happy” and so, so many of my favorite people say this and it just really bugs me. We can’t just all quit our jobs today to go read books in the park. I work two jobs and I’m not going to lie, I’m really getting sick of one of them. It doesn’t make me happy like it used to and at first, this really frustrated me. I don’t want to quit this job because it brings me the resources ($$$) to do the things that make me happy. So I’ve decided to start spreading the message of do more of what makes you happy and focus on the good, instead of stop doing things that don’t make you happy.
Now with that said, there are absolutely aspects of all of our lives that only bring us bad and no good at all. These things, we need to cut out of our lives immediately. My job brings me good things, such as friendships and money. But if you have something (or someone) in your life that only brings you bad vibes, it’s time to move on. There’s no point in keeping something in our lives that only bring us down.
I’m sorry if this blog post was rather chatty! I feel like the second I started writing, so much just spilled out of my fingers that I had to just write, write, write! If you have any other tips on finding your own personal happiness, please leave it in the comments!